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[backpacking]

❝ ... Uh. Yup! This is Ellie!
Leave your message, or... whatever,
and I'll probably see you around before I listen to it, honestly. ❞

[ BEEEEEEEP ]

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[backpacking]

[ No, she doesn't want to. Staring hard at anything else is easier. Ellie is so unused to seeing his reactions, to having him press for her to talk more - it's a little unnerving. Never mind their topic of discussion...

Finally, she glances up at him without facing him fully. ]

What? [ She asks again, made all the more uncomfortable by the expression on his face. That's gotta be enough, right? What would he look like if he knew more of what happened that winter? ] I just - I told you.

[ It should be more consolation, knowing what kind of state she'd left David in. Somehow, it isn't. ]

[shivving]

I know - I know.

[ He shakes his head, dismissing her concerns. No, he's not going to interrogate her further. ]

Ellie - I'm sorry.

[ His voice cracks, a little. He's sorry. Sorry he hadn't been there. Sorry she'd had to go through it alone. That he couldn't kill David for her, and that she'd had to get blood on her hands one more time to save herself. Sorry that there are people like David in the world, and that he's not able to shield her from all of them forever.

But there's one thing he can do, and he meets her eyes, his own blazing with intensity. ]

But I'm here now.

And I will never let anything like that happen to you again. Ever.

I swear.

[backpacking]

[ Something must have happened to cause this. Unless he's been stewing all this time since his arrival and just now let it out, it's odd that Joel would open up like this unprompted. Her expression flickers to a very brief curiosity, but only for a second.

Ellie nods. ]

Okay. [ She doesn't say that he probably couldn't have prevented his near-fatal injury just with a promise, that something awful could still happen to them both... or that he could vanish again after swearing he wouldn't. She just nods faintly, glancing away. ]

You don't have to be sorry. [ Comes the addendum. ] There wasn't anything you could've done; you almost died. [ We almost starved because I couldn't find enough fucking food. ]

[shivving]

[ He does, though. Because he'd failed her. Never mind that he'd been injured and half-delirious; never mind that he'd nearly died. She'd needed him, and he hadn't been there for her.

He's not about to forgive himself for that anytime soon.

But he knows all too well how Ellie would react to that, so he doesn't say any of it. Instead, he just looks at her, sighing quietly. ]

Well, we're here now.

[ And he hadn't died, and she's...she's okay, whatever had happened. He hopes. He gives her a tiny smile. ]

[backpacking]

[ Yeah. We're here now. For how long, though? How long before she got bounced back to something worse, or before he vanished without saying goodbye? It ties her stomach up in knots to think about it, and she shrinks a little into her shoulders in the extended silence.

He tries to smile; she can't yet bring herself to do the same. Instead, now restless in her own skin, she stands up, leaving the comic behind where she'd sat. ]

I think I'm gonna... take a walk. [ Ellie says finally. Her expression softens from tense to a little concerned, and she adds: ] I'm fine, I just need some air.

[shivving]

[ Well, you fucked that one up, Joel. He can see the way she shrinks up smaller, the way she can't quite sit still. Goddammit.

He's worried about her. And it shows in his expression, his slight frown, the way his eyebrows draw together slightly. But he just nods, not trying to stop her as she slips out of the room. ]