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[ He hadn't gotten her a present. Christmas hasn't really been something to celebrate for decades; the most he could hope for was getting drunk off his ass on cheap whiskey with Tess. Even here, with the castle's decorations, with other people celebrating...well, he wouldn't have known what to get Ellie in any case. Besides, the idea of presents is kind of pointless, with the closets catering to their every whim, isn't it?

But when he wakes to find a beat-up old journal in a stocking he'd never seen before, when he pages through it and figures out who it had belonged to, as he deciphers the cramped letters and realizes what it means...He can't keep that to himself.

He heads across to Ellie's room immediately, knocking sharply on the door. ]

Ellie, y'there? Got somethin' I think you wanna see.

[ It's the reverse of what she'd done to him not long ago, though Joel's tone isn't panicked as hers had surely been. Ellie opens the door, blinking, looking up into his face curiously. ]

What's up? [ She questions, standing aside to let him pass. ]

[ He steps inside, holding out the journal to her. ]

Take a look.

[ As always, he leaves it for her to discover on her own rather than explaining too much, though he does add one more thing as he settles in, leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest. ]

It's Marlene's.

[ Her expression changes rapidly: curiosity, confusion, urgency. Ellie snatches up the journal and flips it open hurriedly (almost too quickly, threatening to tear the pages) until she finds writing. Then she reads. ]

... Holy shit.

[ It's hard, at first, reading over her friend's (her mom's friend's?) apparent failure. 'Ellie never made it.' Marlene must have thought she'd died, or that Tess and Joel... killed her, maybe, after seeing the bite.

Then: 'I failed you, Anna. I failed all of us.' Seeing her mother's name quickens her heartbeat, though it shouldn't, since she never knew her mother and has no emotional connection. Not really. Her eyes flit for the briefest of moment's up at Joel, but then her gaze snaps back down to the writing, pouring over every letter.

Then - A mention of her and Joel? In April... Her mind scrambles to determine what month they'd left off in, but it'd just been winter, and she doubts it was anywhere near the end of April. There's still a chunk of time between where she'd left off and this bus terminal near the Utah hospital. She's always known they (she) made it past David, but this means they get out of that fucked-up town, that Joel survives his injuries despite her amateur doctoring.

And. And. 'They're running tests on her now.' She can almost feel the scars on her forearm tingling and she looks up slowly after drinking in everything, staring wide-eyed at Joel. ]

Fuck. [ She breathes, heart racing out of control. Then - miraculously - she grins, face splitting into a huge, beaming smile, practically bouncing in place. ] Jesus fuck, Joel! If this... if this is real, if there's any chance this shit is really from Marlene -

[ Then, we're gonna make it. She wants to be dubious, to doubt the origins of... whatever this is, but she's too excited and hopeful to give into cynicism right now. Finally, some good news. Finally some goddamn hope. ]

[ Joel doesn't interrupt or rush her as she reads. He just waits, watching intently, letting her take her time.

When she looks up at him and grins, though, he slowly smiles back. Not a face-splitting grin like hers, but probably a bigger smile than she'd ever seen from him, one that reaches his eyes. ]

We make it.

We find the Fireflies.

[ All the heartache, all the suffering, and it'll all pay off in the end. Everything's gonna be okay. ]

[ It's a miracle, if you believe in that sort of thing. To think that they made it - that they will make it - across the country despite literally everything being against them, trying to kill them... it's a fucking miracle. Her head spins as she reads over it a few more times for good measure, imagining the Fireflies' base, the hospital where Marlene is waiting for her. Despite herself, Ellie stands a little straighter with the pride of having made a difference, in the end, in having struggled so damn much and coming through the other side with at least a chance for a cure.

She looks to Joel again and is, for once, at a loss for words. For a while. ]

Do you think this is real? [ Ellie asks finally, breathlessly. ] D'you think we really make it?

[ He's beaming too, though most people who don't know him as well as Ellie does would probably miss it. Even better than the promise - or at least the hope - of all their hard work paying off is Ellie's reaction to it. The look on her face as she stands up a little straighter.

He shrugs his shoulders, gaze drifting down to the journal again. ]

Don't see any reason why it wouldn't be. [ Well, there are a few, but...it's not as if they can know for sure either way. Better to hope, right? ]

We've been through a lot already, kiddo. Gotten pretty damn close. [ He looks up again to meet her eyes, and smiles. ]

I think we just might.

[ Joel's actually smiling, and that makes it real. If he'd made this up somehow, then there's no way he'd look like that. Ellie clutches the journal as if it's a lifeline, again unsure of what to say, thoughts clamoring to be brought to words. ]

... I know you did it for the weapons and stuff, but I'm really glad you and Tess did what Marlene asked. [ Or, tried to, considering that the Fireflies who were at the capital were dead when they arrived. ] And I know... I mean, you lost a lot. [ She adds quickly, dropping her gaze, thinking of Tess' bite and last stand. ] And things haven't exactly been easy since then, but if they can get a cure because of this? Because of... Tess, and Bill, and Henry, and Sam - [ and Riley ] and me and you? [ Ellie shakes her head a little, looking up again. The elation has settled into something like... being at peace. ] Shit.

[ This is getting awfully real. She's right, though, and he knows it. He nods soberly. ]

Yeah.

[ Yeah.

It'll be worth it.

He pushes himself up off the counter, and nods at the journal still clutched in her hands. ]

Why don't you just keep that.

[ It looks like she could use it, after all. ]

[ She deflates a tiny bit, knowing she'd crossed the line as he clams up. Still, Ellie nods at his suggestion, still keeping hold of the journal. ]

Yeah. I will. I'll keep it safe.

[ For what? ... She isn't sure. But it's important, and... at the very least, it's a reminder. ]

Where'd you find this, anyway? [ Ellie asks, glancing his way. ]

[ He knows she will. He would have, too, of course, but...he knows Ellie'll guard it. And maybe it'll help her, having it to look at. Something to remind her there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

He huffs out a quiet laugh at her question, shaking his head at the absurdity of it. ]

It was in a...Christmas stocking. Just hangin' on the wall. [ He looks at her curiously. ] You find anything like that?

Oh yeah! I forgot about that! [ Well, almost. She'd gotten her own gift after all, but the fact that this was a yearly occurrence that she might have told him about escaped her. ] Pretty sure that happens at the end of every year, or something.

[ As far as she knows. Then, of course, comes the inevitable question. Ellie remembers withdrawing the photo, the one that looked like her and the young, dream (fake) Joel.

Family.

Adopted.

Daughter.

Dad. ]

Wasn't anything this cool. [ She settles, shrugging. ] No... secret Firefly documents, or anything.

[ That's good enough, right? ]

[ He studies her a moment, not quite sure that he believes her, but finally nods. After all, she's got plenty of friends here - she'd built a whole life here before he showed up. Whatever she'd found, it probably has nothing to do with him.

Or maybe it was a disappointment, whatever it was. Who knows? ]

Well, good thing you got this now, then. [ He gestures to the journal, then glances at the door. ] Anyhow, I don't mean to keep ya.

[ She probably has lots to do, without having to worry about entertaining him. ]

Oh - Right. [ Keep her? She's almost confused by it. Ellie shifts her weight, peering at him, wondering... but, then, this is a new chance for him. An opportunity to have a real life. He probably wants space, here, to start again, to... reconnect with Tess. ]

Sure. [ Ellie says quickly. ] So... I'll see you around. Y'know, whenever.

[ He'd come here, so that's something. He still thought to reach out and confer with her about this development. It's not like he'd told her they weren't going to spend any time together anymore...

... Still. She thinks of Tommy's and her stomach clenches painfully. ]

[ He picks up on her hesitation, unspoken though it is, and pauses halfway to the door, looking down at her with a small frown. ]

Y'alright, Ellie?

[ Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to give her the journal, to make her think about all that again...but it had seemed to cheer her up a moment ago. Still, he doesn't leave quite yet. ]

Yeah! [ She's fast to respond, straightening up. ] Sorry, I was just... thinking. About all this stuff.

[ It's partly true. Ellie blinks, then offers a weak shrug. ]

I'm fine. Okay?

Alright.

[ Still, he's hesitant to leave, if it means leaving her to stew alone with her thoughts. He glances around as if for inspiration, eyes lighting on the row of arcade games along the wall. ]

Y'know, you never did show me the big deal with those things.

[ Not that he'd ever actually asked, or anything. Beside the point. ]

[ Ellie blinks, not immediately comprehending, just because... well, it's Joel. And he's asking about the arcade games. ]

About - Are you serious? [ It seems to cheer her again almost instantly and she gingerly sets down the journal before moving over to them. ] Yeah, well, I didn't think you wanted to see what the big deal is!

[ In fact, he may recognize some of the machines, which include games like Pac-Man and Galaga. ]

[ He didn't want to, particularly. But they're obviously important to Ellie. And...if it keeps her distracted and entertained, keeps her from dwelling on darker things, it's well worth it. ]

Not like I got anything better to do.

[ He follows her over, scanning the machines with his arms crossed over his chest. A few of them are vaguely familiar from his own childhood, though as he'd said, he'd never really gotten into them. Others are newer. ]

Go on, show me what it's all about.

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