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[ Did he hurt you? No, but he wanted to. No, but he tried. He'd choked her, sure, had bashed her head against the bars of that cell, yeah, had kicked her in the gut until she could barely move before yanking her over by the hair. Yeah, he'd done those things, but it could have - would have - been much worse. She'd been lucky.

Ellie swallows, thinking of when she'd slipped from the table and barely escaped David's gun, wondering (not for the first time) if he hadn't hit her on purpose. ]

I'm not pretending. [ She mutters, and the memories with their associated grief wells up within her again, sickening. ] I just don't want to go through all the... fucking details, okay?

[ She shifts, crossing and uncrossing her ankles. ]

They were eating people. [ Ellie shrugs, not looking at him. ] They were gonna do that to me, but I got away. He made the mistake of coming after me again, so I killed him.

[ But, God, it was so much more complicated than that. ]

[ Joel doesn't look away, even as Ellie stares studiously at her lap. She's not telling him the whole story, that much is obvious. But she's not lying, either, he doesn't think.

I killed him. He blinks in surprise; it's not the ending he had expected. The way she says it, so matter of fact...Of course, it's not the first time she'd killed - and killed people, not just mindless Infected.

But God, he'd never wanted to see it become commonplace for her. And she never...she should never have had to.

If he had never given her that pistol...

Would she be more innocent now? Or would that bastard have slit her throat, or worse, before she could even react?

He takes a ragged breath, feeling suddenly cold. ]

Ellie, look at me.

[ Even though a part of him doesn't want her to. Even though he knows she'll be able to see his reaction, that he can't hide the look on his face. She'd barely told him anything and he feels like he'd aged ten years. ]

[ No, she doesn't want to. Staring hard at anything else is easier. Ellie is so unused to seeing his reactions, to having him press for her to talk more - it's a little unnerving. Never mind their topic of discussion...

Finally, she glances up at him without facing him fully. ]

What? [ She asks again, made all the more uncomfortable by the expression on his face. That's gotta be enough, right? What would he look like if he knew more of what happened that winter? ] I just - I told you.

[ It should be more consolation, knowing what kind of state she'd left David in. Somehow, it isn't. ]

I know - I know.

[ He shakes his head, dismissing her concerns. No, he's not going to interrogate her further. ]

Ellie - I'm sorry.

[ His voice cracks, a little. He's sorry. Sorry he hadn't been there. Sorry she'd had to go through it alone. That he couldn't kill David for her, and that she'd had to get blood on her hands one more time to save herself. Sorry that there are people like David in the world, and that he's not able to shield her from all of them forever.

But there's one thing he can do, and he meets her eyes, his own blazing with intensity. ]

But I'm here now.

And I will never let anything like that happen to you again. Ever.

I swear.

[ Something must have happened to cause this. Unless he's been stewing all this time since his arrival and just now let it out, it's odd that Joel would open up like this unprompted. Her expression flickers to a very brief curiosity, but only for a second.

Ellie nods. ]

Okay. [ She doesn't say that he probably couldn't have prevented his near-fatal injury just with a promise, that something awful could still happen to them both... or that he could vanish again after swearing he wouldn't. She just nods faintly, glancing away. ]

You don't have to be sorry. [ Comes the addendum. ] There wasn't anything you could've done; you almost died. [ We almost starved because I couldn't find enough fucking food. ]

[ He does, though. Because he'd failed her. Never mind that he'd been injured and half-delirious; never mind that he'd nearly died. She'd needed him, and he hadn't been there for her.

He's not about to forgive himself for that anytime soon.

But he knows all too well how Ellie would react to that, so he doesn't say any of it. Instead, he just looks at her, sighing quietly. ]

Well, we're here now.

[ And he hadn't died, and she's...she's okay, whatever had happened. He hopes. He gives her a tiny smile. ]

[ Yeah. We're here now. For how long, though? How long before she got bounced back to something worse, or before he vanished without saying goodbye? It ties her stomach up in knots to think about it, and she shrinks a little into her shoulders in the extended silence.

He tries to smile; she can't yet bring herself to do the same. Instead, now restless in her own skin, she stands up, leaving the comic behind where she'd sat. ]

I think I'm gonna... take a walk. [ Ellie says finally. Her expression softens from tense to a little concerned, and she adds: ] I'm fine, I just need some air.

[ Well, you fucked that one up, Joel. He can see the way she shrinks up smaller, the way she can't quite sit still. Goddammit.

He's worried about her. And it shows in his expression, his slight frown, the way his eyebrows draw together slightly. But he just nods, not trying to stop her as she slips out of the room. ]

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